Today, I am talking to a good friend Raquel Borras. We discuss the importance of mentorship, self-help gurus, and practical tips for building your unique brand.
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CHAPTERS: 0:00 Intro
1:03 Use Unique Skills to Build a Personal Brand Building
5:55 Importance of Mentorship & Encouraging Spaces
13:29 Entrepreneurship Or 9 to 5?
20:50 College Students & Social Media Presence
30:56 Tired of Self-Help Gurus | Do What Works For You
47:24 Advice On Genuine Content
59:40 Raquel’s Life, Family, & Career Advice
1:21:52 Cultural/Racial Background & How It Influences You
1:33:52 Outro / Get in touch w/ Raquel
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Raquel: [00:00:00] It's, it's a process of course. That in itself is really a process. I mean, I'm 47 years old and I still feel like, um, I'm, I'm trying to figure out who I am. , I think, I think that like it always, that's gonna be until we, you know, go to the grave.
Jordan: Hey everyone. Thanks so much for joining the show this week. I'm super excited to introduce our guest as Raquel Boris. She has a big inspiration of mine to even get this show off the ground. Um, she's a marketing manager in the mortgage industry, but more than that, she's the queen of goofiness. She spreads a lot of positivity on her social media, and I'm really excited for you guys to get to listen to a little bit of her story, what got her to where she is and what it means to, to put yourself out there, um, when it comes to personal branding and things like that.
Jordan: So, um, remember to like, subscribe to the, uh, podcast wherever you're watching or listening, but let's dive right into the [00:01:00] conversation with Raquel. . I kind of wanted to just start with what you do. Like when you look at your Instagram, when you look at your LinkedIn, yeah. You see things listed, but what do you consider your job right now?
Jordan: Like, I know you're in the mortgage industry, but what, what is it that you do?
Raquel: I know, it's funny cuz so many people are like, what do you do? Exactly. I'm like, that's, I think the cool thing for me is that yes, I am a technically employee nine to five corporate job , but my actual role is, you know, content creator, marketing, branding for our region in San Diego and all our loan officers.
Raquel: So just like I was able to have a, uh, presence on social media and have a brand and have that help me, essentially it's utilizing what I've learned and what I do now to help our loan officers gain visibility. and uh, essentially have a brand as well. So I get to do all the stuff that I was doing anyways, but I get to help other people do [00:02:00] it.
Raquel: So that's why I get think people get confused because in order to help them with their brand, I have to keep my brand up too. Right? Like, I mean, you know how they talk about how hairdressers and, you know, people, you know, the jam. Like they're the ones that kind of neglect their own business and I feel.
Raquel: If I'm doing marketing and branding and I don't have my own brand and I'm not really good at marketing myself, then I think that it's, uh, . You know, I think people will be like, well then why is she, why is she helping us ? Why did we hire her when she can't even have a, you know, her own, uh, social media up to date
Jordan: Yeah. No, and I know that most of the time that you get interviewed, people dive into that marketing side cause that's what you become known for. And it's, I've started to realize the importance of a personal brand. Yeah. Like the fact that you're not really defined by what your job is or your career, um, that the brand is kind of independent from all that and that it's Yeah.
Jordan: Oh, an avenue to, to help other people to serve, to grow, to, you know, do this thing. So how has building your personal brand [00:03:00] or helping others impacted you beyond like an actual job?
Raquel: It's, it's crazy because I, I think people forget that. People pay attention. And a lot of the people that pay attention are looking for motivation, inspiration, you know, uh, laugh, entertainment, all of those things.
Raquel: Like, I think sometimes we get kind of so self-absorbed with our social media and our branding that we forget, like there's somebody on the other end, on the other, you know, side of the computer or the, or the phone that's actually soaking in what you're saying and what you're doing. And so for me, I found that.
Raquel: The value that I essentially bring, cuz you know, we all talk about adding value, adding value, and I think a lot of times people think it has to be something incredibly profound and it has to be something that, um, you know, is really, what's the word I wanna say? Like, eloquent and just, I, like I said, like just something huge.
Raquel: Right? At the end of the day, I realize that the value that I bring is just making people laugh and [00:04:00] smiling. And at first, you know, I thought like, oh gosh, you know, in the professional world that's really unprofessional and people aren't gonna take me seriously and I'm not gonna be respected, but that's who I am.
Raquel: Like, I'm a goofy person. Like, I like to make people laugh. Like I have a s like my sense of humor, I'm a smart ass. Like that's just who I am. And I finally embraced it and started just kind of putting myself out there in that way. And I realized that like a lot of people need that, a lot of people need that levity and that need that, that just that laughter and that positivity.
Raquel: And so I thought, you know what? That's what I bring to the table. And so I've really embraced it to the point where even today I did a post on LinkedIn about, you know, my awkward, insecure self. And I mean, you, my elementary school picture's awful like praises. And I had like horrible haircuts and like, I mean, awful, awful, awful, awful.
Raquel: But I wanted to like utilize that in a way of like also saying, Hey, you know, a letter to my younger self. But even the letter in itself was really kind of just [00:05:00] comical as well. I wasn't trying to be like, oh, and now you're doing this and you're, you know, impacting and you're in No, it was more like, Hey, you're 47, you're divorced and you're living with your mom,
Raquel: You know what I mean? Like, um, and you're the self queen of goofiness, but you're really happy and you're grateful. that, you know, now I have like, you know, this like great hair, when my hair before was just awful. I have really nice teeth when I had braces for six years. I have a fake tooth. You know what I mean?
Raquel: Like yeah. I try to put a spin on things where it's, it's funny, but there's still some element of like, Hey, you know, I'm just trying to kind of like motivate others to really just embrace who they are. I think that's what it is. Like I think what it is at the end of the day, I'm like, I just want people to be able to accept who they are and be okay with it and showcase themselves in that way.
Raquel: And so I try to, I guess, lead by example, if you will.
Jordan: No, I think that's what's most inspiring about watching your content, um, is [00:06:00] that you talk a lot about kind of just being comfortable in your own skin. Mm-hmm. , um, it's, it's what's even helped me to kind of start these, these projects. Um, but how do you, how does someone.
Jordan: Maybe even a young person or anybody Yeah. Go about finding that that sinner for themselves or love themselves enough to put themselves out there
Raquel: like that. Um, it's interesting cause my mom and I were having this conversation the other day and she, she was saying that she believes it's the people you surround yourself with.
Raquel: She's like, if you have people that are really, you know, encouraging you, love you unconditionally and really support you, then it gives you that confidence, right? Like, and it's true. I, I truly believe that if you're surrounded by people that tear you down and are super negative and they're insecure themselves and like, guess what?
Raquel: You're probably most likely gonna be the same. So I realize how the power of the people that you do surround yourself with, so I think a lot of, you know, their younger generations, I think they feel like they have to surround theirselves by a [00:07:00] certain particular type of person. . Yeah. That maybe they see as successful, maybe they see as someone that they wanna be, but like at the end of the day, Um, are those people building you up or are they tearing you down?
Raquel: How are they making you feel? So I think that has a lot to do with it, and a lot of it is just kind of trial and error, just kind of figuring out who you are. I mean, I, for me, it's been a lot of trial and error, you know, like I think we all tend to believe that once we put ourselves out, there has to be a certain way.
Raquel: And that in the UK can't change. Like, I've come to realize that my brand and my personality and just what I've done on social media has changed a lot. I haven't changed a per, as a person. I'm the same person. I mean, I'm evolving, I am changing, but I'm essentially at the core of the same person. It's just more of like, once again, realizing, you know, as time goes and I put myself out there more and more how com more comfortable I am doing it.
Raquel: So then that in itself [00:08:00] evolves. So yeah, like I, it's, it's a process that in itself of course is really a process. I mean, I'm 47 years old and I still feel like. Um, I'm, I'm trying to figure out who I am. , I think, I think that like, it always, that's gonna be until we, you know, go to the grave .
Jordan: Yeah. No, and that's, that's what I've come to find as well, and that's kinda the whole point of this, is that a lot of people that even seem successful are often a part of that.
Jordan: They're like along that journey too, right? Like Yeah. The only way to figure that out is to go out there and try things and, and figure it out in while you're
Raquel: doing it. Yeah. Like, I think it's just a constant journey in a process. Like, I don't think you ever have it figured out. I really don't. And for those that think that they do, then I don't know , I mean, power, more power to '
Jordan: em, but, well, in my opinion is that we look at social media too much and we see what people present themselves to the world as.
Jordan: Yeah. And it's like you kind of start to overvalue the things that you're not, or what you see in other [00:09:00] people and you undervalue the things that you already have, the skills or gifts that you already have. So, I think it really is like you have to find those gifts, those skills that you have by doing things.
Jordan: The more you do things, the more you figure out what you're good at, what other people value.
Raquel: Yeah. Cuz I didn't realize I was good at any of this . Well, no, I mean, I, what, you know, being in the mortgage industry, I was doing business development, I was doing different things. And it wasn't until I had some managers at a, at a mortgage company and they're the ones that said, Hey, we want you to be our brand manager.
Raquel: And I'm like, what is that? Because that was still when personal branding wasn't like this huge thing. And the fact that they saw that in me and they saw like, they're like, Raquel, you're just, you know, we want you to help us, you know, have a presence that you're really good at this and that. And I love that they honed in on my strengths and they literally created a.
Raquel: For me with those strengths. And I'm so grateful for that because I realize like, holy crap, like this, I love this. Like this doesn't feel like work. Like what I do does not feel [00:10:00] like work at all. Like for me, it's such a, I feel so blessed, but once again, it's having people see that in you, believe in you, give you those opportunities because yeah, a lot of times people have these strengths that they don't even realize that they possess at all, and they're just like kind of just sitting there stagnant, which is unfortunate, right?
Raquel: Because there are so many people that have all these strengths that they just haven't tapped into.
Jordan: No, for sure. And it, it con connects back to like what you said, having those people around you, right? So not only people to support you, but also the, the mentors to help identify what those strengths may be.
Raquel: Yeah. That's why I think mentorship is so important because you do have kind of that outside source that's looking out, you know, outward and, and being like, no, I don't think you realize this about yourself. And that sometimes that's what it takes is to have someone else tell us. . So,
Jordan: so I want to go backwards a little bit.
Jordan: Huh? Did you, I mean, as a child you didn't dream of getting into the mortgage industry, right? , I
Raquel: don't think anybody . So it's like
Jordan: how, [00:11:00] I'm always curious that people's path, right? It's like, what? Yeah. When you were growing up, what did you wanna do? I
Raquel: wanted to be a teacher and a mom. Okay. Like, I've always loved kids.
Raquel: Even as a kid, I felt like I was very mature, that I was. A kid that liked kids . Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, it was weird. And I'm still like that. That's why, for me, essentially my passion project is rock the boat and having these conversations with our youth. And I know that, and I'm very open about this, that I know that I'm not gonna, I'm not meant to stay in the mortgage industry for the rest of my life.
Raquel: You know? Like I love that I'm in it and I love what I do, but you know, I do feel like I've kind of found my purpose in life and that is to help our youth. And so for me, you know, when I, when I put myself out there, I also have to have that bigger picture and that bigger vision for myself, right? So it's like, , yes, I'm in the mortgage industry, but I'm also connecting with people all around the world that are doing things that, you know, I would love to be doing when it comes to our [00:12:00] youth and so forth.
Raquel: And I don't think there's anything wrong with that. Cause I think a lot of people too, they tend to get scared to put themselves out there in a way where they think their employer is gonna think that they're, you know, trying to leave or find another job or whatever. And I feel, you know, my employer, they know exactly what I do.
Raquel: Mm-hmm. and they know where my passion lies. And I think at the end of, but I think that's also, you know, beneficial to them as well. Right. Like, I think, um, that's why I'm o I'm okay with putting myself out there the way that I do. Cuz I'm sure there are a lot of people that are like, oh, what are you doing?
Raquel: Like, I . Right. You know, you're in the mortgage industry, have a, you, you know, you're an employee. I'm like, yeah, but I mean, we all have aspirations and dreams, , you know, like, and there's nothing wrong with trying to pursue them. Shoot, if I, if I remain in the mortgage industry, if for the rest of my life I'm okay with that too.
Raquel: Like . Yeah. You know, cuz I'm still helping people. Like, that's what's really cool. And so like even, um, with, I have a podcast that I do every week and with [00:13:00] Women Mortgage. And on Wednesday I'm, I'm interviewing a woman that's really highly well respected in the industry. She's Gen Z and she's talking about like next gen in home ownership, right?
Raquel: So it's like we're still helping the younger generations, but in this case with home ownership, with real estate. I, I'm, I'm very grateful that I get to do all these things that, that I enjoy and I feel that are, are helping and making an impact. So I just, I'm just keep, I'm just going with it. , but
Jordan: it, that has to be a, a mindset thing too, right?
Jordan: Like you could, and other people's do view it as just a job, right? Like my background, my businesses are in blue collar, like plumbing. Yeah. H V A C. And I think there's can be stigmas around, you know, why just do this? Yeah. Which I, but if you change that mindset to where, well, no, you get to go in someone's house and make their home better.
Jordan: Yeah. Um, then it can change your perspective on your role. Right. So like, finding that mindset of what I'm doing is actually helping somebody, even if it's not the [00:14:00] dream job that you always thought it was. Yeah.
Raquel: Yeah. And that's where I, I see it. I'm like, I'm getting to help loan officers get out there so that they in turn get to help others, you know, main, uh, Have the, you know, dream of, uh, the American dream of home ownership.
Raquel: Mm-hmm. and create generational wealth and all those things. So that's how I see it, you know, so that's why, um, for me, when people say mortgage industry, you know, it's like, It does not sound glamorous at all. It doesn't sound sexy, none of those things. Right. But you can make it in your own little world and I feel like that's what I'm doing.
Jordan: Well I think that's, that's the key is ma making it is different for everybody, right? Yeah. So like you can't let someone else's definition of what success is kind of define you and what you're doing. Yeah. So it's about finding that happiness,
Raquel: right? Yeah. I mean, and I'm doing that every single day with what I do.
Raquel: Like I really am. And um, I don't know what it is. Just every day I just wake up just feeling so grateful and I take myself less and less seriously and I just think about more and more about helping others [00:15:00] and it's, it's a cool feeling when you start gaining more and more wis wisdom as you age. Yeah. You know, you always hear it as when you're younger, right.
Raquel: Like so many that I think that's why I, I do love talking to kids in our younger generation cuz it's like, I want them to understand that like the narrative around success and around like, You know what it means to be happy. I think, um, a lot of times it's still this, this like narrative that they feel like they have to hustle, they have to make a million dollars by the age 25.
Raquel: They have to be entrepreneurs. Like, I feel like we're in a world that if you have a nine to five job, then you're kind of a loser. And I'm like, right. You know, like entrepreneurship, you know, like there's nothing wrong with having a nine to five corporate job, absolutely nothing. And I was that person that thought like, oh, I need to be out on my own in order to like prove something.
Raquel: Right? And I went out on my own and it, it was hard. It was not easy at all. And I went back and, you know what's funny is as soon as I went back into the mortgage industry, [00:16:00] I didn't even feel any kind of like sense of failure or any sense of like, I was letting myself down or anybody down. I was like, no, you know what circumstances are that I need to, you know, have a salary.
Raquel: I need health insurance, I need the stability. And you know what, who else is gonna take care of myself, but myself. And that's just kind of how I saw it. And. I don't know. There was just something very empowering about being able to go back in, in a way where I was like, I kind of on my own terms too. Like I feel that I'm still kind of my own boss.
Raquel: That's what's so cool about, about this too, is that my boss allows me to do what I need to do. Cuz he's like, you're good at what you do. Yeah. Do it . You know what I mean? And so, yeah, I don't have anybody over, you know, like micromanaging me or saying like, you need to do that. Like, I love that they trust that I know what I'm doing and they know that I'm an adult and I can , you know, like I know how to manage myself.
Raquel: Mm-hmm. and um, so there's plenty of jobs out there that you can have that nine to five [00:17:00] job, but still have that sense that like you're still kind of in control and you're still your own boss. Well,
Jordan: you can also do your passions outside of that, right? Like I, it's everything you touched on is like a really big mission of mine to get that out there, that.
Jordan: You don't have to create a billion dollar tech company to be successful in life. You don't have to be a, an influencer. You don't have to do those things, right? Like, life isn't necessarily about finding yourself. You, you create the life that you want by doing all these things, by trying to do a business.
Jordan: If it doesn't work, that doesn't mean you failed. You just realized, you know, you re kind of shift and realize what makes you happy and what gives you stability in life. And, um, I think it's really cool. The, the, the rock the Boat show. Yeah. And things like that where you can tell you're not taking it serious, you're not taking yourself too seriously, but that is truly just a passion project for you.
Jordan: Right. Like doing that is gives you energy every week.
Raquel: Yes. Um, and I haven't done [00:18:00] much of it. Lately, I do wanna get back into it. And that's the thing is I can do it on the evenings, I can do it on the weekends. You know, like the, these conversations with these kids, if anything, they're at school anyway, so , they're supposed to on the same schedule.
Raquel: Yeah. So it works. Um, but yeah, I mean, I, I would love to do something bigger with it. One day I really would like, I kind of envision, I would love to have like a talk show with kids. Cool. I think that would be the cool thing, you know? Um, and, and if it doesn't work, it doesn't work. But there's also nothing wrong with just Yeah.
Raquel: And trying to envision it and, and, and seeing what happens. Um, and it's just putting it out there once again, like there's nothing wrong with putting it out there. And we're, you know, I tell people all the time, like, unless you talk about it or say what you do, like no one's gonna be able to read your mind and know mm-hmm.
Raquel: So I can't sit here and assume that people know that this is what I, you know, essentially would love to do with, with our kids. Um, so yeah, I have to just kind of. Just keep speaking it [00:19:00] and see what happens. And um, and yeah, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just enjoying the journey. I really am. Like I love that. I love the unknown.
Raquel: I think before the unknown scared the shit outta me, excuse my language. Now the unknown is like exciting. ,
Jordan: no, the, you know, yeah, there's something fun about. I've always kind of like, I'll throw myself into a situation. It's like, I'll just tell someone that I can do something cause I, and I'll just figure out how to do it.
Jordan: Yeah. Because there's, so, there's something about that challenge of like, I don't know how to do this and I know I'm gonna learn something and prove something to myself. It's probably not the best way to do business, but, uh, well, there's
Raquel: something self-taught. Like I, I'm very, I'm self-taught when it comes to social media and all this stuff.
Raquel: Like, I literally, same thing, just kind of, even with LinkedIn, everyone's like, you and your LinkedIn, like, yeah, I've been on there for, um, eight years now, and in the beginning I literally just kind of studied it. I would just scroll through and I would just try to figure it out on my own. And, and so yeah, even within LinkedIn it was all kind of self-taught as well.
Raquel: And [00:20:00] same thing with Instagram and, um, rock the Boat. I, I, you know what's funny, I actually YouTubed on how to have a YouTube channel, like of. That's, that's what I did. I mean, I could have easily asked so many other people that I know that have a YouTube channel. Yeah. But I, again, I'm like, if I'm figuring it out myself, then there's something more, um, kind of empowering about it and Absolut Absolutely.
Raquel: And you know, like the work and the effort that you put into it. So then when something does come from it, like you appreciate it even more. Like, that's just how I work, you know, everyone works differently. Like, but for me, I know how important that is, that I do it on my own and yes. You know, it's, I do need to ask for help here and there, and I will, it is difficult for me at times to ask for help, but I will if I need to.
Raquel: But I'm a very self-sufficient person, almost a little too self-sufficient. Sometimes I feel like we're, I'm like, okay, Raquel, you know what? , you should probably delegate. You're not a Wonder woman. All right.
Jordan: do, do you find that kids, [00:21:00] um, are, are reaching out for mentorship? Because of the things you've done.
Jordan: Ha Has that started to happen? Yeah,
Raquel: I've actually, there's several, um, kids that I've had conversa like several conversations with on Rock the Boat, and they reach out to me every now and again just to kind of like, Hey, I was, you know, hoping to get some of your advice or they just wanna reconnect. Um, which is great.
Raquel: What was really cool is that during Covid I was actually speaking to a ton of, um, organizations in India with college aged kids. And I ended up, um, kind of, I guess picking up a mentor, a mentee from it. And, uh, so he and I would have calls a couple times a month and it was just, you know, a 20 year old who just felt like he just needed some kind of advice and just needed a, a, you know, adult kind of wisdom.
Raquel: And I love that about these kids that, uh, they, they do wanna listen as much. Like, I think that's what makes me sad, Jordan, is that [00:22:00] they're so willing to listen to us. But yet we're not willing to listen to them. And that's where I'm like, come on. You know what I mean? Like we have to be able to reciprocate that.
Raquel: We have to pay attention to them too. And listen, because a lot of 'em are much wiser than a lot of adults that I know. . Yeah. And a lot more self-aware than a lot of adults that I know too. Like you'd be surprised that's, that's the thing. That's the thing is I was very surprised to, to hear just where these kids' minds are at.
Raquel: It's so different. Like we forget that they've grown up much quicker than we have because of social media, and they're much more aware of what's happening in the entire world. Mm-hmm. and, and we have to acknowledge that and not essentially punish them for it. I feel like we punish these kids when really it's not their fault that they are, they grew up around all this technology.
Raquel: You know, it's not their fault that their brains don't develop as quickly as they should because of, you know, technology and so forth. Like, yeah. So I feel like we have to feel, [00:23:00] I, we need to give, have a little bit more compassion and empathy for what these kids are going through.
Jordan: Yeah. I, whenever I was growing up, I always remember people telling me like, oh, if I knew at your age what I know now.
Jordan: And I was always the type to be like, well, tell me what that is. Well
Raquel: then tell me . Don't just leave me guessing. . .
Jordan: I dunno. I dunno if it's this superiority thing where they're like, oh, I know things. It's like, well, tell me those things. Let me learn from you. Yeah. And I think a lot of kids or youth would appreciate that insight.
Jordan: Oh, absolutely. No, like you said, pe I mean, people are certainly willing to listen to advice and they want that guidance. Um, and it doesn't have to come from from celebrities,
Raquel: right? No, it does not. I think if anything it sh it should come from the everyday person. More . Well, that's Mike. Yeah.
Jordan: Well, it's funny cuz I, I saw an article or somebody posted, you know, we, you always hear those complaints like, well, nobody wants to do this anymore.
Jordan: Nobody wants to work anymore. And they always talk about the younger generations and it's [00:24:00] like they found clips of newspaper articles going back to like 1896 that every generation says that. It's like, it's not that this one's any different, they said it about our generation or the one before us. Yeah.
Jordan: Like everybody thinks that, and it's just not true. It's just that they're growing up differently than we did.
Raquel: Yeah. No, no, it's true. It's, and. . And that's the thing is we have to kind of evolve with the way our kids are evolving too. Right. Because that's the thing is even parenting, parenting styles mm-hmm.
Raquel: are so different than they were before. I mean, I, I was brought up incredibly different than I brought up my own children. And I'm sure my kids might, you know, if they do have kids, they'll bring 'em up maybe entirely different than, you know, they were brought up. And, uh, and we have to kind of respect that too, that, um, that things change and, and I think we just get so stuck in our ways, you know?
Raquel: And yeah, and that's the thing is like, and I don't ever get into politics or anything like that, but I just feel like yeah, like we , like we're [00:25:00] not us women. We're not the same women that we were each generations ago. You know what I mean? Like Yeah. Yeah. So that's, that's the thing is, is just acknowledging that, uh, that the world is changing, period.
Raquel: Like, I mean, they'd say the only constant is change.
Jordan: Yeah. And I, I wonder if a lot of that. Um, resentment just comes from people realizing the growth and then they're like, well, that's not how I grew, grew up. That's not fair. Like, almost like they're not comfortable with it. Right?
Raquel: I think it's that non, yeah, like they're not comfortable with it and then it's that unknown.
Raquel: It's that like, well, I don't know. So how, and, and I think that's, it's just, so then fear sets in, right? Mm-hmm. . So a lot of that fear sets in of like, well, I don't understand our kids, so I don't know this. And like, okay, well if you don't understand or you don't understand that person, then why don't you talk to them?
Raquel: Ask them questions, like be curious. .
Jordan: Yeah. There's definitely a huge lack of, uh, dialogue that goes on. That's
Raquel: what it is. It's like the lack of dialogue and the lack of curiosity. Like, I [00:26:00] think curiosity, you know, being curious is still so important. Yeah.
Jordan: Do you, I and I, when I say kids, I guess I'm thinking of like maybe high school, college.
Jordan: Do you . Recommend to them or, and, and not broadly, but putting themselves out there too. Like we, we think that people use social media too much. Mm-hmm. , but in the way we're talking about professionals building a personal brand, do do you think that young people should as well as they're coming through that maybe it's through college or, or kind of the start of their career?
Raquel: Um, that's, it's, see that's, it's funny because my kids are 21 and 18 and they're not content creators. They rarely, they'll, they'll like consume TikTok, right? But they rarely post, if anything, my daughter's kind of anti-social media, so is my son. If they actually make fun of me because I'm the one that's out there and putting myself out there and doing all this stuff.
Raquel: And they just kind of like roll their eyes, but they don't say anything. They used to. Now they, they don't make fun of me like they used to. Now they're just kind of, they realize that like, , it's my job. . [00:27:00] Right. And I enjoy it. And, uh, but like even all their friends, I don't that it's a hard one because, I feel like there's kids that age that do it because they feel like they have to.
Raquel: Yeah. And that's what, that's unfortunate, right? Like you don't have to do it like they feel like they have to do in order to like have an existence and be relevant. And I think that's the problem is that if you're not on social media, it doesn't mean you aren't relevant. It doesn't mean that you don't have a purpose.
Raquel: But I feel like for whatever reason we just are in that day and age where if you're not on social media, then it's like you don't exist. And I think that's where we have to like figure out a, a balance or a way to kind of, even for myself, I'm someone that's like, put yourself out there. Also have that boundary of like, right, you know what, I don't necessarily have to always put myself out there.
Raquel: There are times where I literally am like, I just wanna shut down. Go to the mountains like for a week and have nothing to [00:28:00] do with technology or social media. Cuz I think, uh, psychologically it just, it's inevitable for it to affect us. I really do think it's inevitable. It doesn't matter how old you are.
Raquel: You could be young, you could be 47 and still compare yourself, still have these insecurities. So I feel, I feel there's just, I don't know, I don't know the answer to the question, you know?
Jordan: That makes sense. I don't know that there was a good, I don't know that there is a good answer. It may just be an individual opinion.
Jordan: Right?
Raquel: Yeah. Yeah. I think, I think that's what it's, it's individual. I think that's another thing too, is that, , we generalize so much. Yeah. But everybody's so different, even with parenting styles. Like there was a, um, a connection to mine on LinkedIn and she was talking about her parenting style and how we tend to kind of compare ourselves again as parents and, and uh, and I realized that too.
Raquel: I'm like, yeah, but your household is your household. Your kids are your kid. Your spouse is your spouse. Like, so you have to figure out what's wor works best for you, not because somebody's, you know, posting and it looks amazing that that's gonna work [00:29:00] what's best. And I think that's, we, we also tend to lose sight of that as well, is that we're all different.
Raquel: Yeah.
Jordan: Even not looking at social media, I think the parenting and household stuff can be hard just from parents or. Oh yeah.
Raquel: Close for neighborhood stuff, right? Yeah. Like you go to, you know, neighborhood party or you go to the, you know, organized sports and you talk to parents there and yeah, I think that's something just like you said with the, uh, articles going back to eight, the 18 hundreds about how oh, every generation's getting lazier.
Raquel: I feel like some that's never gonna change either. Us comparing ourselves to others and us just kind of feeling like we have to, uh, I don't know. Always give each other our opinion. , . Well, it's, I don't think that's ever gonna change .
Jordan: Yeah. Well, and maybe we'll get better, right? I mean, cuz people, uh, I, myself, we lose sight of the fact that even the internet has only been around for 30 years at this point, like in a macro level.
Jordan: So like, we were not, we did not evolve [00:30:00] in a way that allows us to process that much information. Yeah. So like this new age of, you know, so much content, so much. Um, interaction with others. I think we'll only get better at processing it because we don't even know what we're doing with it yet. Yeah. It it's so new
still.
Raquel: Yeah, that's true. Yeah. No, that's true. Yeah. I mean,
Jordan: yeah. And I, cause I was always hesitant on social media just cuz it took so much time. Cuz you can get lost. Yeah. Scrolling. Um, and then I've always just been a private person. Um, and then you start to see the impacts that it can have for business and, and then at this point it's more about, well I think.
Jordan: You know, everybody has skills and gifts and at some point you do want to share that to help inspire other people. And you hope that a little bit of your journey or your story could, can help others.
Raquel: Right? Yeah. But I, but you know, and that's, and that, I think for me, it's hard cuz I wanna [00:31:00] do it in a way where I don't feel like I'm being preachy or I'm being like those motivational cuz I, I honestly, I am like sick of all that.
Raquel: I'm, I, like, I now actually, it's a repellent for me. Sorry. Anybody that's out there, like , for me personally, like I, I'm tired of like scrolling through and having tell people, tell me when I should wake up in the morning, what I should eat, how I should think, how I should spend my time, how I should organize my time, how I should block my time, how I should, you know, all these things.
Raquel: I'm like, I'm sorry, but I know what's best for me right now. And. And so I like, I'm trying to kind of almost do the opposite. , . I'm that person. Like when I see you rebel doing the same thing, I tend to kind of rebel a little bit. And that's where I'm at right now with my social medium. I'm kind of rebelling, like even when it comes to like the filters and looking beautiful and looking really pretty, I'm kind of rebelling a, but it's the same thing where I'll get on there with no makeup on, no filter, and I'll do a video or I'll do a real making fun [00:32:00] of like, even the other night I was, um, it was an Instagram story, you know how there was that trend of like, felt cute, might delete later and excuse for all these, you know, people to put these really pretty pictures in cute picture of themselves and then like, yeah, right.
Raquel: They're gonna delete it later. Mm-hmm. , I, I was like in bed and no makeup on, just whatever. And I was like doing these. You know, kind of silly faces and I'm like, fell cute. Instagram stories will delete it later. Um, you know, but like, I was just trying to make light of it and make fun of it, of like, Hey, you know what?
Raquel: Like I really don't look cute, but I'm still gonna post it. Uh, so that's what I'm like, I'm trying to do, believe me, there are times where, you know, I've e cringe it myself, but Ooh, Raquel, that was really cringe schedule come from that. My, my daughter will like, be like, mom, you're so cringe. Um, but I'm trying to kinda make a point without like saying it.
Jordan: Yeah. Cause I've never, I agree with you the whole, there's so many [00:33:00] self-help gurus or like life experts especially at, they look like they're 24 years old and I'm like, , even those people don't have everything figured out. And that's what I want people to start to realize is, hey, let's talk to people that you know are content creators, our authors, our successful business owners, but then start to dig in and realize that they're still learning too, right?
Jordan: Like, and that's why I named this in Pursuit of Better cuz we're all trying to get better, always trying to be better. Um, because it had some different iterations and uh, I'm like, but it is a process and it's a journey that we're all on every day. And I think
Raquel: that, yeah, we can all just acknowledge that and respect that about one another.
Raquel: I think we'd be less judgmental and less willing to like sit there and criticize other people. And that's the thing is like, I don't, and, and that's where it's hard. Once again, like I'm not trying to criticize people that are doing that. I just know that for me, that's not content that I wanna consume.
Raquel: And I have that I at least have, we have [00:34:00] somewhat control of what we do. See, you know, you don't have to follow certain people, you can block people. You know, your feed, your, the algorithms are essentially showing you what you wanna see. So, like, for instance, on my Instagram, most of it is the good news movement.
Raquel: Some good news, um, Upworthy, those two guys that like literally will give $500,000 to the, you know, the first person that's kind to them. Um, that's what invades my feed and that's what I love. Like, that inspires me and that makes me feel good. Mm-hmm. . So for me, like I, I try to control what it is that I'm, that I'm consuming.
Raquel: And so that's why, um, yeah, it's just everybody's different. So it's like, hey, Not everyone is for everyone. That's why I know I'm not for everyone. Like they're, I have a certain type of audience. Yeah. I have a audience that appreciates my humor, understands that I'm just being lighthearted, understands that I'm just making fun of myself and, and they're okay because there's, there's plenty of people that can't see my content and they're like, who's this crazy person?
Raquel: And like, like, why is she, you know what I mean? And that's okay. , [00:35:00]
Jordan: that's the key, right? It is okay. That not everyone's gonna like you. Yeah. Right. And that, and that is okay. No, I think it's hilarious. You're, and what else is unique about yours? So, yeah, most of the time that you pop up, it's funny. So I'm laughing, um, which is, I, I enjoy.
Jordan: But then also it's, you're not trying to sell anything either.
Raquel: No. And that's right. That's funny. . Yeah, there's no call to action. And you know, you hear a lot of people are like, you need to have a call action to action. I'm like, I dunno what my call to action would be like before it would be like, Hey, you know, I'm a branding, you know, personal brand consultant.
Raquel: So like, hire me now. It's like I have a job, I'm super happy, really content. Um, I don't really know what my call to action would be, so I just like, yeah, I'm just kind of putting it out there. And maybe that's a, you know, bad thing. I don't know. But at I'm happy about it. Yeah. And I'm the one that has to go to bed with myself at night.
Raquel: So like .
Jordan: No, that's one of the things I li I that I found so inspiring too is like, [00:36:00] there is no, well click this and take my course on how to become an influencer. Brand, you know, manager, like, no. And
Raquel: that, and that's the thing I'm finding too, Jordan, and, and, uh, is that everybody now, especially in our industry in real estate, like have you noticed that everybody, like every realtor that now has a social media presence, now they're giving social media courses on how to have a I'm noticing that.
Raquel: And that's, and once again, there's nothing wrong with that, but it's like you start noticing how it's like suddenly now everybody wants to be someone that tells you how you should, you know, gain a following or have a better presence. And, and I'm guilty of it because I still give courses like that for my, for my job, right.
Raquel: Like, I talk about it. Um, but it's, it's just interesting that I'm starting to see more and more just recently on my Instagram feed, I, I'm not joking. I think I saw four different real estate agents. Yep. Be like, Hey, I'm about to launch a course on, on social media and how to, how to gain a presence and a following.
Raquel: And I'm like, okay, that's [00:37:00] cool. But then suddenly it's like, That everybody's doing that. You know what I'm ha Like .
Jordan: Yeah. But, and there's, I think courses are great if that's the way you can learn and consume things. What I'm gonna do, and I've, I've been thinking, so like I, I said that I was social media re like, hesitant.
Jordan: So like on Instagram, Twitter, I have zero followers. So I think it'd be really cool to be like, it's not a course, but I'm gonna, I wanna try and like blog or vlog about it. Yeah. Where you can follow along, see how you go from zero to whatever that, maybe it's only 10 at the end of it. Um, but that'll be a real process of like, and I'll just give you updates.
Jordan: Here's everything I put out and then here's now what that, what that following looks like. Just a, a real world example, because that's the way I would wanna look at it. Like, show me the realness. I pay you for these hacks. I don't know.
Raquel: Yeah, and I think the thing now with all of that is people, once people got to that level, then they realized like, oh, now I'm gonna wanna talk about it.
Raquel: But you're someone that you don't even know if you'll get to that [00:38:00] level, but you're just gonna like, Start doing it. Like, I think that's more effective because Yeah, you're not already there. Like, that's what happens. It's people Even with myself. Yes. Like once I got to a level on LinkedIn, guess what?
Raquel: That's when everyone wanted to hear what I had to say. It wasn't like during the process when I was, you know, a nobody and I was just figuring it out, like care less. It's like once you have this a name for yourself and, and on a platform or whatever, that's what everybody was willing to listen. So I'm interested to see how that works, um, for you.
Raquel: Like, I, you'll ha you know, like I, I'll find, definitely follow along, . Yeah. I'm going to . No.
Jordan: Cause I that, and it's what everybody sees, right? Like you put in seven years of hard work to become an overnight success. Like you only see the end. That's what I wanna show people, is that there's a journey. So maybe it takes 10 years to get.
Jordan: And maybe it's only a small following at the end. Yeah, maybe it's a lot. I don't know. And I don't care really. I just wanna show people that there's a process
Raquel: behind it. Yeah, no, [00:39:00] and that's cool cuz you, you know, there are some documentaries that I've seen out there where, you know, musicians, actors, or just people that are like at, you know, this level, they literally started documenting their journey when they were nothing.
Raquel: And I love that cuz then a decade later you get to see like, oh my gosh, like this is how it all came about. And so I love that they had that insight to be like, hey, this might, we might be filming for 10 years or 20 years, but like the end result is gonna actually be showing from like zero, you know, to 52 or whatever.
Raquel: You know,
Jordan: maybe it's like too much self confide. Like, you think that it's gonna be something, but maybe, you know, . Uh,
Raquel: but there's nothing wrong with that. Yeah. I mean, that's in itself, right? Like when you're like, oh, I didn't get anywhere. Then you talk about that. Like, I don't know. I feel like either way you can learn from it either way.
Raquel: Like either way it's like really cool. Um, yeah. I mean, like I said, I think, uh, not [00:40:00] enough people are showing that part of the journey well,
Jordan: and that there's joy in the journey of it, of it all. It's ki I have young children and you start to see that it's those, it's the hard moments and those little things that happen every day that kind of makes that whole thing a memory or a whole thing.
Jordan: You love it more, right? It's, yeah, it's going through all that. It's, it's the struggle that kind of makes it worth it at the end, like you said. Um, you know, when you learn to do a YouTube channel yourself, if it actually becomes successful, it's that much more rewarding. And I think that. . I don't know if anybody takes anything from what I do, it's just to start.
Jordan: Cause I think that's, that's the hardest part. But it's also, um, the thing that keeps you going. Right? So what I've found is like, I've struggled with content creation, like as I'm starting to do this, like what do you write about, what do you post about? But the more you start to do it, the more ideas you come up with.
Jordan: Yeah.
Raquel: I truly [00:41:00] believe that. Like that's what happened. Yeah. It's the more so I was even really scared to do reel. Because like I was intimidated by everybody having like the perfect audio and the perfect like, you know, copyright to go with the audio. And, and I just was like, oh my gosh, I can't, I, I, why can't I figure this out?
Raquel: But I wanna do it so badly cuz it seems so fun. And I think, yeah, like this would be totally up my alley and my personality and I, for whatever reason, it just, like, I was super intimidated by it. And it wasn't until I talked to one, uh, another woman that's in the industry. She's younger, she's gen, um, she's a, actually it might be Gen Z at this point.
Raquel: And, uh, she does marketing. And so I called her up one day and I was like, I need help. Like you do all these reels, you know, this is what I was able to like, be like, okay, this is, I, I, I do need help with this. I'm willing to like , you know, take someone else's advice. So yeah, I called her up and she gave me like, really good advice, some really good things that I can implement.
Raquel: And I started doing it and as soon as I started doing it and [00:42:00] having so much fun with it, then it was like, all these ideas come now it's like, Every reel that I see, I'm like, oh, I could do this, I could do that. So like, yeah, it's for whatever reason, it's like sometimes suddenly you like, tap into this part of your brain that you didn't realize that you had, and then it's like you were stimulating it and then it just starts getting better and better.
Raquel: And so that's why, uh, I tell a lot of people too that don't worry about your stuff so much because it's, it's, you're gonna like hone it in and, and figure it out. Yeah.
Jordan: You'll, you'll get better or you'll figure out what it is that you're good at. Yeah. But the only way you know is by doing.
Raquel: Yeah. And there's a lot of people that I know that like, Have now ended up in different like lanes and different paths because of social media.
Raquel: Cuz they put themselves out there and realized things that they didn't know about themselves and things that they love doing. And then it just kind of, you know, evolved into something bigger. And I think that's where a lot of these, like real estate agents, like, they're starting to realize, like a lot of 'em are content creators.
Raquel: Like that's another [00:43:00] thing too. You, you go to your Instagram and every, it's like content creator, digital creator, content creator, like, um, and so, and so that's the thing too is that like, I'm sure none of these people thought that they were ever gonna be content creators. Right. Right. And then suddenly, like, now I'm a content creator too.
Raquel: Uh, yeah. You just never know.
Jordan: Yeah, I get afraid of those terms. And this is probably just, I think I have a little bit of a rebel in Me too. Yeah. Cause you'll see those, like, like influencer or even entrepreneur, even though I own businesses, it's like, but everybody says they are now. So now I'm gonna take that word out and I'm gonna, I'm trying to think of some other Am I might, I'm a steward of businesses cuz you're responsible for, if, if you have an organization, you're kind of responsible for a lot of people that work there in their livelihood.
Jordan: So in my mind, I'm more of a steward of those businesses and to the community that they operate in. Um, so I'm trying, in my mind, I want to change the terminology around it. I don't know, but I think that's just me not wanting to be bucketed with
Raquel: everybody. No, no, I totally agree. I mean, that's why [00:44:00] years ago, I, I changed my headline to Queen of Goofiness.
Raquel: Because I was like, that's, that's, I'd rather be kind of labeled as that as anything else because everything will change. But I'll always remain goofy like, and so, yeah, that's why for me I was like, okay. And that headline has stayed there for years. And you know, some people love it, some people are like, are you sure you wanna keep that up there?
Raquel: But, um, if anything, it's a conversation starter. .
Jordan: Yeah. Cuz I, you've, you've brought that up a couple times. Do you think that in any way that, that your. , not, not your personality, but that branding, Uhhuh has damaged a, the, the, the mortgage side of the business, like your professional credibility?
Raquel: No. If anything, it's actually increased it, which is kind of weird because I think what it is, and this is where, uh, my friend Josh Pitts, who I'm the, I host one of his shows, um, and uh, he said, he's like, you're just unapologetically yourself, like you're you.
Raquel: Mm-hmm. . And I think that's where the level of respect came in. It was more of like, [00:45:00] well, she's willing to just put herself out there as who she is, so we have to in some way respect that. Right. So, like, I think that's where I, I don't think it has. . I mean, maybe it has to in some people's eyes, but if anything, um, it's kind of been the opposite.
Raquel: Where I used to get made fun of for it in the beginning, not, and this was before I was queen of goofiness. This was when I first started on LinkedIn, and I was putting myself out there in the industry. People were kind of like, what is she doing? Because that was before a lot of people were posting content on LinkedIn and if even like, personal content.
Raquel: And so I think a lot of, at, at, at that time, I, there was a lack, lack of respect and a lack of credibility and a lack of thinking. I was being professional. Now it's like, now everyone realizes, not that I was like super intentional about it, but now everyone's like, now everyone's trying to do kind of what I did.
Raquel: And so now , it's like, it's like the roles have turned, which I mean, it feels nice, I'm not gonna lie. Mm-hmm. . Um, [00:46:00] but. Yeah, I mean, you're always gonna have different school of thought. Like I get that. I get that there's people in the industry that, you know, are probably a little bit more old school and probably look at me and think, maybe I am tarnishing.
Raquel: Maybe less. There's a certain image. And then I feel like then there's opposite. Then there's people that are like, oh my God, we needed this. Like, this is what we need. We need more of it.
Jordan: Well, PE people like to do business with someone they feel like they know. Yeah, right. So maybe by being so authentic that people feel more comfortable.
Raquel: Yeah. I mean, honestly Jordan, like I've j it was super organic, unintentional. I've kind of ended up where I at now. Now I'm more intentional for sure. Yeah. But for years there, there was, I had no idea what I was doing. , I, I mean, I really didn't. And so, I don't know. I just, just, that's my experience, you know?
Raquel: And that's all I can kind of talk about is my experience. But everybody's different. Yeah. I
Jordan: don't [00:47:00] think that, You know, we'll kind of circle back, but I don't think that personal branding has to be done with the intent of becoming an influencer for some sort of notoriety. Right? Like it's, it's really about sharing your personal gifts with everyone.
Jordan: And by not doing it, you're, you're robbing the rest of us of, of who you are. Like, if you hadn't shared that, then so many people don't get to see the queen of goofiness. .
Raquel: Yeah. But I think like, um, you made a good point. Like, I'm not trying to, like, I don't have an end goal of like how many followers or if I wanna be some kind of like, influence and like I don't have an end goal at that with that all, if anything, I'm so content where I'm at now where, yeah, I don't, I don't look at it as like, oh, I have to grow my following and you know, I had these amounts so now I gotta double it.
Raquel: None of that. Like I really, I think at one point I did feel that way. Mm-hmm. , let's be honest, I think we all kind of have that kind of thought process at some point when we're putting ourselves out there on social media or like the views and, and it's funny cuz even this morning, um, You know, I'm [00:48:00] realizing more and more that it has nothing to do with how many people are watching or liking.
Raquel: It's really the comments, like the engagement piece of it that like for me is just everything. Like when I post on LinkedIn, a lot of the engagement I get are comments that are like this thick and they're like literally like, you know, sharing something about themselves or their comment, responding in a way where they actually are putting time and energy into it, right?
Raquel: And I'm like, that's at the end of the day what's important to me. And it could be just five comments, but if they're five really freaking amazing comments with people that I really respect, I'm like, I could care less if I had 10 views. You know, like I, I'm realizing more and more how important that aspect of it is.
Jordan: Like more about a deep connection with the audience than just a
Raquel: why. Yeah, like I'm really, it's that it's building the relation, it's building relationships. Like I realize more and more that the reason why I love LinkedIn and I'm on it, is because of the people that I'm connecting with and, and building those [00:49:00] relationships with.
Raquel: Like really, that's truly what it's all about for me. So I have to remind myself of that every day when I do post, because yeah, we can, we, we're human. I can lose sight of things. There's days where I have, where I feel like, You know, I'm just, could be better or this and that, or I'm comparing myself to others or, you know what I mean?
Raquel: Like it's normal.
Jordan: Yeah. I saw one of your posts recently that, you know, I think it was one, the Oprah one we talked about, like, you know, you're guilty. You even say like, I'm guilty of this too, where you compare yourself to others, but it's like, we gotta get past that. Yeah, but you're not, it's not hundred
Raquel: percent right?
Raquel: No, and, and it, and it's okay. Like I kind of sit in that moment and then I do a reel and then move on. , , you know, like, it's kinda like my own therapy, if you will. Like, that's kind of me also reminding myself like, Hey Raquel, like, get over yourself. Like, I think that's another thing too is that we, I have, it's, we tend to, I think we get really caught up in ourselves and become, can become [00:50:00] really self-absorbed when it comes to all of this.
Raquel: And a lot of times I have to put myself in check. I really do. Because there are things that I've been, I. almost posted, and then my mom will remind me like, Raquel, remember how blessed you are? Like you might mm-hmm. , it might sound like you're trying to be, but it kind of sounds like you're showing off or you're being a little bit pretentious.
Raquel: And she'll put me in my place and I'm like, no, you're right. Like, I'm not gonna post that. You know, like there's certain things that I, yeah. I kind of have to , I don't know, review . Cause Yeah. Cause like I think like I'm doing something great and then I realize, I'm like, oh, that sounded really just awful.
Jordan: So do you have a, and this I guess is more for me, but do you have a process that you go through before posting things? Or do, do you usually just kind of fire them off? Or do you kind of create it, sit on it? Like schedule it maybe? Or how
Raquel: does I, I, yeah. I never schedule my content. Okay. It's really much in real time.
Raquel: It's pretty much in the moment. Um, you [00:51:00] know, if I do think of something like really late at night, I'm not gonna post it. Like, you know, I'm gonna like wait the next day. But, um, I do, like, for instance, the post that I did today on LinkedIn, I put it last night in my draft because also a lot of times in that moment, like I come up with what I wanna say and if I don't write it down or po like post it and draft it, I'll forget the next day.
Raquel: I think I'll remember, but I'm like, I'm getting at that age where I forget. So like last night I had it saved, so then this morning all I had to do was post it. But that's like, as far as my scheduling goes, . Yeah. Um, I don't know. I've just never been one to schedule. I just, I don't know. I've always liked to do things in real time and kind of in the moment, uh, for myself.
Raquel: So there really isn't much of a process. What I have been doing is I'll go through my reels. Intentionally to find audio that I think would be really cool. And then I'll save it and maybe like take a little note so that like in the future, if I need, if I wanna do a reel, then I have like, ideas [00:52:00] already in place.
Raquel: No, that's
Jordan: interesting. Yeah. Well, cause I see, uh, I, um, there's a few people I follow like on LinkedIn that I feel like share a lot of details about the process of Yeah. Creating that, that's helping me outside. I just thought, yeah. I don't, I I, I'm trying, I'm still trying to figure out that process, right, of how do you Yeah.
Jordan: Continually create,
Raquel: um, yeah, I, I'm not very conventional. That's another thing too, is like, I, I, I try to also kind of be that person like, Hey, I don't do it the way other people do it, and it still works. So you can do it in your own way and it can still work , you know, like, oh yeah, yeah. I try to kind of, but the consistency part of the it though, that's something that I'll always say that.
Raquel: I'm very, that's the key, right? Consistent about telling you you need to be consistent. .
Jordan: Well, it's like, it's, it's, um, people ask how you like, stay motivated, whether it be going to the gym or sticking to a diet or post on social media, but you don't find motivation every day. You just, [00:53:00] it's a discipline to stay consistent about it.
Raquel: Yeah. And there then that's where there's days, there was one time where I literally had like, I had nore creativity possible and I happened to look at a reel with like the sound of crickets , like, so I said, when a content creator has no content ideas, I was like, and it, the content, like that's what was so cool about it.
Raquel: And I put it on LinkedIn and it's funny how it was cool cuz I had a lot of content creators and marketers reply and respond like, oh my gosh girl, like I feel you. Like that happens to me all the time. Or like, I was feeling that today too. Um, but how funny is it that you were able to create content out of not having content?
Raquel: Um, so that was kind of fun cuz it literally was just that moment I'm like, or even with the reel that I did with my. That one was cool. My mom, I was sitting there, I'd never have cake. I happened to have cake from leftover from the night before with my dad and I happened to hear that audio and I was like, mom, you wanna do a reel?
Raquel: And she's like, what? I'm like, you have an apple, right? And then it's very apropo cuz my [00:54:00] mom's very like a health nut. And then she likes to criticize that I eat a little too much , just, it's just being honest. Um, and so we did it and then three takes, and then it was a reel and it's like, you know, I put on LinkedIn and people went nuts.
Raquel: And so, And that was just literally in that moment, it just like happened all within like five minutes. . Do,
Jordan: do people respond really a lot to your, um, your outtakes? Because I like when you posted the, uh Yeah. Like, here's, here's the video, but here's like all the takes it
Raquel: took. Yeah. Um, I haven't done a blooper reel in a while, but, um, just cuz I've been really bad, I've been deleting since.
Raquel: The thing is like, I have so much, like, so much content on my phone, videos and pictures that I'm constantly deleting. And so what happens is I tend to delete all the, like, the outtakes because I just, I forget and then later I'm like, shoot, I wish I had those videos because there's so many, you know, funny bits there.
Raquel: Uh, usually it's like, now when I do stuff with people, I'll make sure to keep it.
Jordan: [00:55:00] Yeah. The, yeah, I guess there's the ones I see you'll, you do a dance or something and it's like, nah, that didn't work, but here's, here's what it looked like. Let's
Raquel: try. Yeah. So it's, I mean, I have fun with it. That's the important thing, right?
Raquel: Yeah. I really do. Like, I make myself laugh all the time. Like I just , I laugh. I have a friend who's like, Raquel, every time you talk, you literally finish a sentence, laugh, sentence, sentence laughing. He goes, why are you always laughing? I'm like, I don't know what It's so like, see, like, talk, like literally he is like, when you talk, you're like laughing talking,
Jordan: but that's good.
Jordan: I, well, I was always, even when I was younger, I remember people asking like, like, I never really get mad or down or, I mean, of course you have those moments, but I've always felt like life is way too short to even have like one day where I'm gonna be sad or unhappy. Like I, I try to stay focused on being happy.
Jordan: I don't know. And I think that you can find happiness in, in, in most things, or it, it's putting [00:56:00] yourself in the right mindset to be happy. So laughing at the end of a sentence, it helps everybody cuz then it puts us in that mindset too. Yeah,
Raquel: I don't know what it is. I'm just a laughing. . .
Jordan: So what's, what's, uh, what's something that one piece of advice or one thought that you have that people could apply to their lives, um, to help them along their journey?
Raquel: Um, I think just the common theme that I've just experiencing in the last, just a while, it's just, just not taking yourself seriously. Like really, like, just realizing that it's life and we all go through ups or, you know, ups and downs and it's just, that's what life is all about. I mean, it's, the other day I was watching a documentary with my mom or something on YouTube with the Buddhism, like, I love the whole, I love Buddhism and just what it represents.
Raquel: And, and so then one of the guys had asked, um, Ms. Guru, like, what's the meaning of life? Like what's the purpose of life? And he goes to. Like it was as simple as [00:57:00] that to live it . And I think just more and more I'm realizing like, just like live, just . Yeah. I don't just, we overthink and overanalyze and overcomplicate.
Raquel: We over everything. oversimplify over, I don't know what it is. It's like we, it was like everything's so excess, excessive and I'm actually like peeling everything back and trying to strip everything and be as like, just as simplistic as possible with every aspect of my life. Like everything, my clothing.
Raquel: Yeah. Not really so much stuff. I just wanna like wear the same colors the every day. Just like I understand why seed jobs, no problem at all. People wear the same clothing cuz it really does kind of like it take a lot of energy out of you to decide what to wear in the morning and the this and that. Like little things like that.
Jordan: Freeze your mind for sure. I've done it mainly cuz I'm lazy, but it's like, these are like Amazon t-shirts. Mm-hmm. . Um, and I just ha I get like black gray and [00:58:00] navy blue and I wear like Amazon jeans that are the same three, so I don't have to think, I just picked whatever the same three or
Raquel: five shirts. Oh.
Raquel: I've got 10 target, like sleeveless, like rib tank tops that I bought over the, that were $5 black, navy, blue, gray and white. Mm-hmm. . And then I just switch 'em out sometimes with my own jean jacket, maybe a black blazer. And it's like, I, I didn't realize like how that really does free up a lot of your energy and your like just space.
Raquel: So little things like that. So that's what I'm starting to realize, that really life can be very simple. It really can. So I'm just trying to simplify my life. I guess maybe that's, that's gonna be, you know what that's gonna be. My word for 2023 is simple. I like it. This past year it was, um, See, I already forgot
Jordan: And it must, it must have been profound,
Raquel: I think two years ago was clarity. Ok. And then this, no, I think it le it was, um, oh, expansion. That's what, ok. [00:59:00] This last year was expansion 2022. And then I'm thinking next year it's gonna be just simplify. I don't know. I just, I like it.
Jordan: I don't know. So how did, how did you expand?
Jordan: Were you successful in, in expanding?
Raquel: Um, I think so. I mean, I moved from, I literally expand my life in the sense where I was in Virginia for the last 23 years and now I'm in San Diego, California. Like my whole life has changed and, but I feel like I've expanded because I like had 23 years in the East Coast.
Raquel: Now I'm back in the west coast. Like I feel like my world has broadened, my mind has broadened. Like, I'm willing to just like, yeah, expand.
Jordan: Did you grow? So you said back, did you grow up in
Raquel: California? Yeah, I grew up here. I'm a native San Diego.
Jordan: Nice. So back home,
Raquel: super weird. Okay. So kind of like a weird full circle moment is that we just moved into a new office and we were across the street.
Raquel: But what's funny is that my high school, [01:00:00] my middle school and high school is right down the street and the street that we're on is Forze Road. I went to school with the Fr and this is Hazard Center. I went to school with the Hazards and Hazard Center. At the time when they first built it, it was like the coolest like little new shopping mall.
Raquel: Now it's like, you know, there's shopping malls everywhere, but it was like a little, like one of those like mini malls like, but it's like weird being back here with my school down there on the street and the place of like kid people I went to high school with . Yeah, like this is where I'm at. Yeah, it, it's weird.
Raquel: Like I'd never, my high school self would've never pictured that I would end up back here. . .
Jordan: That's really interesting. So do But you like being back home now after being gone.
Raquel: I love it. And I'll tell you this, I'm living with my mom and I didn't know how that was gonna go. And we're, I'm almost like four months in and I'm gonna buy a rental property and stay with my mom.
Raquel: That's awesome. Yeah. I was like, why am I gonna buy something when my mom's getting older? She lives by herself. We're enjoying each other's company. You know, it's [01:01:00] like life is short and we're just, we're enjoying the time together and we were never very close. So this is kind of a, like, we're like reestablishing our relationship and it's like this, it's like this friendship now.
Raquel: It's not just like a mom daughter, it's this like, really cool friendship that we're developing and, and I'm just like, you know what? She's so happy. I, I don't need to leave. Like, there's nothing wrong with. Living with my mom at this
Jordan: point. Was it, was it moving back that brought you guys closer together?
Jordan: Um, or, yeah. Yeah. I'm dive I'm diving into personal stuff. Yeah.
Raquel: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. We, we, we, we got closer, um, about a decade ago when I got divorced. And, and it was because there was a lot of stuff that she was kind of judging me for and not like, and there was a lot of things that she didn't do as a parent or as a mother that I was resentful of.
Raquel: And so like, we had this kind of moment one night where she said something to me that triggered me and I was like, mom, [01:02:00] you were like, how could you say that you didn't do that as a mom, as a parent? And so then she was very open. And kind of was so vulnerable the, for the first time, like she shared this vulnerability and this transparency that she'd never had before about her struggles coming from Mexico and leaving her twin sister.
Raquel: And, you know, being in San Antonio, Texas where she didn't know anybody. My dad's going to, you know, like his residency for, for, for yeah. As a doctor and how she suffered and she like all these things that she ga it, it gave me so much insight as to why she did the things she did as a mom. And so I couldn't really judge her for it because she, at that time was coming from the place that she only knew how, like sh that's she was surviving and she, and she said she regrets and she wishes she could do things differently and all these things, but we had this moment and from that moment on it just like our relationship changed and, and now, and it's just, it's getting better and better because we're becoming more open with each other and more honest about things.
Raquel: And um, [01:03:00] and it's a beautiful thing and I don't. And I'm like, you know what? I'm gonna continue to grow with my mom and I'll buy a rental place and I'll rent it out and I'll just continue to live with her. .
Jordan: Um, how mu how much time do you have? Cause I just thought of like 10 questions after you said all that.
Jordan: Oh, I have plenty of time. Okay. And, uh, and I seriously, if you don't, this is kind of off the topic of , but I find it very interesting. So I, I, I think I saw, uh, you talk about, or maybe it was a post, but you stayed home when you were
Raquel: Yeah, I was a stay-home mom
Jordan: when I was married. So, so, so then after the divorce, you had to, you had to join the workforce mm-hmm.
Jordan: How, how, how was that?
Raquel: Interesting because towards the end of my marriage, I was a yoga instructor and a cycle instructor, and I was teaching a ton of classes, but that wasn't gonna, I couldn't stay afloat with, with that. So, um, I was, so, at one point in time I was a yoga instructor, cycle instructor, [01:04:00] hosted at a restaurant.
Raquel: And then I think I was like working for a guy that would like work from home and it was kind of like project manager for him. So I have all these like odd jobs, like nothing like stable. And um, so yeah, at some point in time I was doing all of that and it was very humbling. Cuz I will tell you this, I had lived in an area that there were a lot of stay-at-home moms and a lot of women that didn't have to work, they, you know, would kind of just go to the gym, have their coffee, hang out with their girlfriends, and then the kids would come home and whatever.
Raquel: And, um, a lot of these women and people would come into the restaurant and here I was the hostess, like having to sit them at their table , you know? Um, but I, I just knew I needed to survive and I wanted to set a good example for my kids. And my ex-husband and I are incredibly close. We're like very, very close.
Raquel: And I wanted to show him too that I wasn't, that I didn't. That I could do [01:05:00] it on, that I could do it. That like I was stronger than I thought I was. Cuz I was very insecure when I was married to him. Um, I was 24 when I got married. Um, he was my first relationship. He was my first everything. Mm-hmm. So I didn't know anything other than him and I just was not mentally in a good place for a lot of it.
Raquel: I just wasn't very confident. And as much as, you know, we love each other and we, like I said, have a great relationship as in a marriage, it just, I didn't feel like I was supported or like, you know, I felt like at the end of the day he just wanted me, me to be a stay-at-home mom for the rest of my life and raise our kids.
Raquel: And at some point it's, that's not what I wanted anymore, you know? Yeah. And um, and now he sees what I've managed to do and he has als he has said like, Raquel, I held you back. Like he sees the potential now. Right. I think he didn't see it at the time and now he sees it. And if anything, he respects me for it.
Raquel: He loves that. I'm setting a good example for our daughter, [01:06:00] especially who's 18, of like a woman that's like not relying on a guy that's going out there and doing what she needs to do and working hard for it. And literally, you know, when they say work up that corporate ladder and work up, I mean, I literally did that.
Raquel: I started out as a receptionist for a builder. That's how I got it. That was my first corporate job, like receptionist, , and, and then now, you know, it's like,
Jordan: well I find like that's the fascinating part, right? Like, so you've already said your age that at 37 you, that's when you actually
Raquel: 35. So at 35 I got divorced in 2010.
Jordan: So you start this career at 35, like kids that are 24 and think, well I don't have this thing, these things going on yet. It's like it's never too late. Yeah. When you're still .
Raquel: Well, and that's the thing is. I, you know, especially as the, the mom to a, a, you know, a young girl, um, or young lady, she not young girl, young lady.
Raquel: Is that, yeah. Like, I also want young women to see [01:07:00] like, age 47 doesn't mean that it's like the end of the world and like your life is over and, you know what I mean? , like, of course, if anything, that's something too that I, I kind of see for myself is to be someone that will always kind of be maybe a role model in that respect of like, Hey, you can remain young.
Raquel: You can still do all these things. Like, don't let age, you know, define you or don't let it stop you. Like, I, I do feel that, like, that, you know, I have a lot of energy and a lot of just, I, I feel like they still have a lot to do still
Jordan: And, and speaking of empowering women, your mom, you said she moved from Mexico.
Jordan: Was that with your dad or was it just she came from
Raquel: Mexico? No, she, she met my dad in Mexico. Okay. And she called him out here and, um, , she, you know, was born and raised there. She did go to parochial school in the States, so she knew the language, um, and all of those things. But my mom's kind of an exception in the sense that, and this is like a whole nother, you know, talk, but she, um, [01:08:00] she's, she didn't come over here illegally.
Raquel: She came from a very family, very well educated, and they all knew, they all have several languages that they, you know, that they're fluent in. They've studied all abroad, they're like business owners or they, all these things, right? And so, like, being half Mexican, I grew up very prideful and not embarrassed, like a, you know, because of that.
Raquel: Like she, I spoke Spanish was my first language. So I always, I always had a, like this sense of pride when unfortunately there's a lot of people that didn't have that because of the way their upbringing was and just, you know, and so for, for a long time I just never really talked about it cuz I felt like, who am I to say anything?
Raquel: Because I was very privileged. But I feel like I, because I was very privileged and because I grew up differently, I also have a responsibility to be like, Hey, not all cultures are the same. Or come here the same way. Right. Like kind of trying to [01:09:00] change the narrative in that regards too. Yeah.
Jordan: No, I think the, that's the first thing you think of when you say that is that, well that's not, I can't be right cuz the only thing we hear is that everybody comes over
Raquel: illegally.
Raquel: He dragged over and then, you know, then came over illegally and hopped fence and, you know what I mean? Like, and had parents that struggled. No. Like it was completely the opposite. Um, so yeah. So that's why I'm kind of like, uh,
Raquel: No, that's awesome. Everybody has the same, yeah, same. But that's why. Yeah, it's just learning all of those things, right? Like learning that, it's like the, that shame of certain things, like you gotta kinda let that go. The shame that I was depressed in college and I attempted suicide, there was a lot of shame behind that.
Raquel: So I never talked about it, never shared it, and now I do, and realized like how important that was. Like, yeah, that's what I mean. Like, well, that's where you just realize like, that was my life. Like .
Jordan: Well, [01:10:00] and every traumatic experience, whether it be an attempted suicide, a divorce, there's, there's learning in it, but it's, it's all about how you come through it, right?
Jordan: Mm-hmm. , I mean, so do you think that going through those different things, Helped you when those experiences came later. Like just realizing that you can over overcome depression, help you once you realize your marriage isn't maybe what you thought it was gonna be.
Raquel: Yeah, yeah. Uh, like going through all these things, it just has made me realize like how strong I really am and how, once again, it's life.
Raquel: Because I think, um, a lot of, I know for me growing up I felt I, I was almost made to, I was like kind of made to believe that life was supposed to be easy in the sense that like, not easy, but like you were supposed to go through it in a way with, um, with grace and like figure it out. I don't know. I don't know why I had that narrative in my head.
Raquel: So anytime something bad happened or I didn't feel good about myself, I thought like, oh, I'm not doing life right. Like, I'm, I [01:11:00] suck at life. . Yeah. Like, I don't, I don't know what it was. And now I just realize like, no, that's , that's what happens. Like shit happens.
Jordan: Did you were, did you get help in college?
Jordan: Like how did, how, what was the biggest thing that helped you get through that?
Raquel: Um, well, that was like, kind of the hard part was that I was already going to therapy and I was on antidepressants, and I truly believe, and I'm, and you know, I, I know there's class action suits against this particular antidepressant, but I truly believe that all those suicidal thoughts came from that pill.
Raquel: And so I stopped. And so I tried to od on my pills, like I took 'em all. So what happens is, is like the la the first thing you do is no more pills for you, right? And then I was already going through Thera to therapy and clearly that wasn't helping. So, and that was a whole me, you know, whatever. And so for me it was, I don't, I really don't know what it was.
Raquel: I just know that I think I had to just like literally baby steps every single day, just [01:12:00] kind of like get out of that mindset. And I don't know why I was able to, and how, because I've had people ask me and I'm like, I don't know. It was, it was a thought. It was all a thought and very cloudy. For me at that period of time, like, I don't even know how old I was.
Raquel: I don't know what year it was. I don't know what month it was, . Um, I just know that I was in college, it was my fourth year. Like it's all kind of a blur. So I don't, I don't really know what, how I snapped out of it. Do you know what, do
Jordan: you know what
Raquel: led to it? A lot had to do with my childhood and, um, a lot of the, you know, family dynamics and the fact that I was like a perfectionist and I had o c d like, and in my head I had this narrative that I had to be the perfect child cuz I was treated perfectly and I was a good child.
Raquel: And I just, this whole perfectionism and when people try to be perfect and they realize they can't, like there was and I just feel, I felt unworthy, undeserving, and like all these things that it's normal for a teenager to feel [01:13:00] except I just, you know, I. Believed it enough to, you know, be like, eh, no one's, you know, like, people are better off without me.
Raquel: Like, that's how I honestly felt. I'm like, oh, the world's better off. And now I realize like, oh, crap. Like, you know, like, ouch .
Jordan: Ouch. In the sense that that's a scary thought or that that's not true. It's
Raquel: scary that anybody would ever feel that way. Yeah. You know, like that's, that, that's where it's like, gosh, like there's so many people that feel that way and so many people that actually, you know, follow through.
Raquel: And, um, and it's, it's, it's tough because, you know, it's, I think a lot of people wanna like, be able to pinpoint why, and then people won't wanna understand like, how, how could you even get to that place? It's like, I don't know. Cause I, I went to that place and I've been there and it's like, it sucks and it's scary and it's awful.
Raquel: And because I know that I don't wanna ever go back to that place, but I know that people have gone back to that place. [01:14:00] So it's like, It's, it's, it's just, it's, it's hard because right now suicide rates are so high among teens, like so high. And it's like, how do we stop it? Right? And I think there's just a lot that has to be done.
Raquel: It's not just like one thing, so many things, but I think that we need to be able to talk about it more and be more open about it. And, and that's something too that like, I wanna be able to share my story even more so, but to teens, like directly, like, you know, I share my story all the time on like podcasts like this and on lives, but like, I don't know, I would love to be able to get in front of teenagers at schools and organizations and really kind of like, share my story, but do it in a way where they realize that there is hope.
Raquel: Because I think unfortunately, a lot of times when people do speak to to kids, it's because they already lost someone. And I'm like, no, I think there's needs to be more of us that are suicide [01:15:00] attempt survivors that are thriving now and doing okay and have us kind of be more vocal about like how we've managed to kind of overcome and get to a place where we are.
Raquel: I feel like that's really important too. Two,
Jordan: no, you just, you had me in deep thought cuz I, I, I, I've struggled with what I want my message to be. Mm-hmm. and some young people always pull at my heart for some reason. Be, and I think it's some sort, some way of educating them that, you know, life is hard.
Jordan: Mm-hmm. , but you. success in that can mean many things, and you have to find what that means for you. Yeah. And how, but how, again, like same question. How do we, how do we get in front of them to catch them before they get to those points of no return?
Raquel: Yeah. I mean that's what's hard. And you know, I try to do that with, uh, [01:16:00] the, so the social network with Rock Vision, when I started with a friend, and, um, it was the hard part was that, you know, all the parents loved our idea, right?
Raquel: Like ev they loved the concept of having these interactive rooms and having these, you know, like adults in their facilitating them, talking about like their story, motivating all these things, right? And creating this like, sense of community in the safe space for these kids. Um, but it's getting in, it's having the kids see the value in it, because it's TikTok, it's Snapchat, it's Instagram, it's what everybody's doing.
Raquel: It's like, You know, they're, it's the masses and so it's like, it's for kids to be the ones to go out on their own and kind of go rogue and be like, Ooh, I'm gonna, you know, get on Rock Vision cuz it's a really cool place and then I'm gonna talk about it. Like, that's the difficult part. Right. You know, because like I said, all the parents wanted their kids on there, but then how many kids are like, oh my parent, my parent wants me to be on here.
Raquel: Well then I don't wanna be on here. Cuz if they think it's cool then [01:17:00] it's not cool. ,
Jordan: maybe it's a, and again this is off topic, maybe it's like a, some sort of organization that uses people like yourself. Maybe people that already, cuz kids would find people that have a f like following. Interesting. Yeah.
Jordan: And it's like, then somehow we get into schools to say, let's have a talk. Like, look, here's someone that is influential is an influencer, but in a way that's different than what you're typically seeing and realize that, that there's positive influences out there.
Raquel: Yeah. Yeah. I think I ha I, I'd also have, you know, I understand I need to be proactive too, but once again, no, but that's the thing is, you know, I, I have a job.
Raquel: I wanna be respectful to, you know, my job and all, and there's only so much I can do. Right. But it's like, I also understand how I do have to be proactive, put myself out there, talk about it, put the, you know, like do all of those things. And there's still a part of me that is still, you know, there is that fear, um, of [01:18:00] success of all of those things, of being bigger than I, you know, I don't think I'm big, but like having like a bigger presence, like a lot of that still frightens
Jordan: me.
Jordan: I, that, that's so funny you say that. So have you always struggled with the fear of success? Like always, always. This, this is gonna sound crazy. I'm almost, I, I don't even like saying it out loud, but like there were times like I played sports Uhhuh, , and it's like, you just want people to be happy or something.
Jordan: Like I was a people pleaser, but it's like those times where events or tournaments get so big, it's like I don't wanna be the one with the attention and be that successful. It's like, I'd rather just almost lose, like, that's hard. It's kind of sad to say you'd almost rather lose Yeah. And keep yourself in that comfort zone.
Raquel: Yeah, no, I, I'm like that a lot. Like, I think what happens is then I start thinking like, oh, I'm like being selfish or I'm like, I'm [01:19:00] attention seeking. And that's not like, it's funny cuz I had, I had, um, an energy healer session and I've never had that and I had it during Covid and so it was over the phone and he said something that really like, kind of was like, oh my gosh.
Raquel: She goes, Raquel, people think that you. Like, because you're kind of bigger than, like you have that personality. He goes, but deep down inside you don't want that attention. You understand that you need that to get that attention in order to help. Like my ex said something too along the lines where he goes, you're the, he goes, I forget what he said.
Raquel: He's like, you're a narcissist. He goes, but the, you're the most generous. Or like, like you're a narcissist bec in a way that, but you're trying to help others. Yeah. He goes, so it's like you're seeking all that attention and you're wanting all of that, but it's essentially to be redirected. And so that's kind of like what this energy healer was saying.
Raquel: Like at the end of the day, like you don't want it. You just understand like the importance of it in order to help others. And so it's like that weird, [01:20:00] it's like a weird dichotomy, you know what I mean? Like, and so for me, I think that's what I struggle with is like I understand having that success and being out there and helping more.
Raquel: You need to have that. But at the same time, like. At the end of the day, that's not what I'm trying to, I'm trying to help others, so I wanna be able to like back off at some point. But it's like you can't, if you wanna, it's, yeah. It's this very weird thing that I struggle with internally almost every day, to be honest.
Raquel: Well that's
Jordan: been the biggest hesitancy for me to even start. Cuz you're, you're asking for a following, so you're asking for attention, but the intent behind it, Uhhuh, , is to just push it back out. Like Exactly. Yeah.
Raquel: It's hard, right? . Like, it's weird. It's a very weird head space to be in. Yeah. And um, you know, and even my kids, like, there came a point where my kids were like, mom, you realize that every time that we're together you like talk about yourself and your career.
Raquel: And like they're like, we don't [01:21:00] care. But then I also realized too, a lot of it, and even my ex-husband had to kind of. You know, pointed out was like Raquel, you've always soughted validation too. Cuz you've always never felt valued. You never felt worthy. And so it's like he goes, but you don't need to seek it from your kids and from me he goes, we know your value, we know your worth.
Raquel: You don't, you won't have to seek it from us. And that was like a really profound thing too. And so I feel like that's another thing too, is I feel like I constantly have to be validated. So it's also that like this is the same thing, like putting, doing it so that I'm validated as well. And that self, that part of it I feel like is also kind of, um, stems from all of my childhood stuff and everything as well.
Raquel: So like, we're very complex people, like people are very complex. So I think that's why I'm trying to simplify my life because I'm just like, I just
Jordan: don't . No, but the more, and this was like, uh, one of the biggest things I thought that I'd get from this is I literally just wanted to talk to people. Like I love talking.
Jordan: And the more I've [01:22:00] done it like this, the more I realized that we all have a similar. There's similar framework to what drives us and what motivates us. Like did you hide, uh, and maybe this is different, but, um, being of Mexican descent, did you hide from that growing up in America, like, or from your fri like you didn't, you didn't
embrace
Raquel: that?
Raquel: No. See that's the thing is I, it was fully embraced cuz my mom, it was okay. Yeah. I, I, I was born in San Diego, literally on the, like the borders right here. Yeah. So you have a lot of Mexicans in San Diego. Um, if anything, it was more of that identity of like how, how do identify, what kind of Mexican do you identify?
Raquel: Okay. People realize even within the, even the community, there's also. Some stigma with, you know, class, all that stuff. Like people don't . Like it's still every, every group has their, every, every, every, yeah, every group has that. So for instance, me growing up, my mom once again, [01:23:00] very proud cuz she came from a very well to do, very well known, my family's very well known in Mexico and very well to do.
Raquel: Like, that's just, it is what it is. And, um, so for her, she had this great pride of like, why am I gonna be sh ashamed of that? And so she, she instilled that in us. Like Spanish was my first language. I spoke it, I still speak it all the time, as often as I can speak it. I do, I speak it. I love speaking the language.
Raquel: Never been ashamed of it. And so for me, I, I didn't have that, if anything, and I'll admit to this, when people would be like, oh, you're chiana. I would actually get offended by that. And the reason why we get offended by that term was because in San Diego Chicanos or in the LA area were of their parents were from Mexico.
Raquel: Came over, like immigrated over here, and the kids are born here, but they've never been to Mexico. They don't speak Spanish, but yet because their parents were Mexican, they [01:24:00] still aren't accepted as Americans, even though they were born in the States. So like Chicanos, have, they had like this se like this crisis, this identity crisis.
Raquel: And that's, that's how that culture. Was created too. Mm-hmm. . It's because they were in this in-between of like, we were born in the States, but our parents were Mexican, but we're not accepted as Mexicans because we don't know the language. We've never been, but we're not accepted in America because we have Mexican immigrant parents.
Raquel: Like, yeah. And so when people would say that, I would get offended cuz I was like, I've been to Mexico, I go up twice a year. I know Spanish, you know, fluently. Like all these things. So growing up it was also kinda that struggle.
Jordan: Well, I, I asked because I'm mixed race and I struggle with that identity crisis for a long time because it felt like you weren't accepted by either in some cases.
Jordan: And then I grew up in very rural West Virginia, so you Oh, wow. . So you there wa I. I was, well, like it wasn't, it sounds like it'd be worse than what it was. Yeah. I mean, there was incidences [01:25:00] of racism, of course, but you have that everywhere. Um, but I just remember, especially like in college when I got my first experience around a lot of, um, other, you know, black people were, you know, mixed race that Yeah.
Jordan: You start to realize, well, they don't accept you either, so then you're like, kind of lost. And I remember it being somewhat dark where it's like, I don't know who I am. Yeah. Because, yeah, again, I'm a people pleaser, so it's like, you want people to like you. And so it's like, well, which one do, which, which way do I go?
Jordan: Which, which race do I adopt as my own? And then you start to realize as you get older that it, you just be yourself. Right? Yeah. Like, and there's not, there's not a right answer to that. And there's not, people are always gonna judge or not accept you. Yeah.
Raquel: Yeah. And I, I mean, and that's the thing is I have light eyes.
Raquel: I have green eyes. Like my dad, my dad's Eastern European, he is Russian, Romanian Jew. So I have the light eyes that no, so I don't look Latina. So yeah, for me, when I speak Spanish, I shot the hell out of people . So it's like, you know, in the Latina culture, I'm a white Latina. Like, I mean, once again there's like [01:26:00] the, the, the color of your, you know, skin.
Raquel: Same thing is also relevant within, within the community. So for me, yeah, I just, I never had any kind of struggle with it, but I have learned that I think a lot because has to do with, I don't fit in that box, right? Mm-hmm. , I mean, I've, I've been in situations where I've seen discrimination against, um, Hispanics in a way because they looked it, and I stepped in and I'm like, guess what?
Raquel: I'm Hispanic. And I started speaking Spanish and they get all shocked and they get all like, and I'm like, and it would make me sad. It made me realize like, wow, like, yeah, I don't, I can't sit here and say anything because. I just have never experienced that.
Jordan: Yeah, well you get that. I, I remember hearing in West Virginia in particular, you get that, well, you don't talk like you're black.
Jordan: Like what does that even mean, mean? Yeah. I, I don't, so it's like, I don't know. Yeah, you can, you can certainly letting other [01:27:00] people, you know, make your identity for you is dangerous, I guess. Yeah. And then, yeah,
Raquel: I mean it's, it's hard cuz like my son, so my son, and this is kind of, you know, my ex-husband's more Latino than I am.
Raquel: He's Cuban, Puerto Rican, Spanish, and my, and our son, he looks la latino. Like you look at him and we grew up, he grew up in uh, long County Virginia, which is a very wealthy county, you know. And um, so he's also was molded in a certain way where he didn't really wanna identify. As a Latino. Yeah. Because he saw that most of 'em were the ones that, that were the working workers, you know, working at the, you know, the restaurants, all those things.
Raquel: And so for him, you know, I, I just looking at that and it was, it's hard because I'm a very proud Latina, like super proud and, and I'm always like owning it and talking about it and trying to, you know, and especially being in the DC area, doing a lot of nonprofits and organiz Hispanic organizations, and I would do a lot, and it's like hard when you have your own children not [01:28:00] wanting to speak the language and your kid's kind of not really identifying with that part of your family.
Raquel: Like it's, it's, it is hard. Um, but once again, a lot of it's the environment. A lot of it's your surroundings, you know? And so that's kind of, so yeah, I mean, there's a lot of elements that go into it. You know, like at the end of the day I just, I'm all about just being kind and respecting everyone. I don't, you don't care what you look like
Jordan: Oh, well we should all be more like that.
Raquel: Yeah. Well I try to instill that in my kids, you know, like at the end of the day I'm like, just speak a kind person and be and respect people.
Jordan: Yeah. Do you get asked to do a lot of things on the, on the business side? And I don't know what I'm trying to ask here. The reason I ask is because I'm so entrepreneur and I get scatterbrained that when you sit there and talk about getting into schools, I'm like, oh, we could start some sort of nonprofit where we have all these influencers they go into schools and talk to.
Jordan: I just get all excited. Yeah. Every time I hear [01:29:00] something new. And I could imagine people come to you with like, things like that.
Raquel: Um, not as often as you think, because once again, I don't think I put it out there enough. . Yeah. I mean, I don't really. You know, when people like wanna do keynotes and they wanna do this, like they're very, most people are very vocal about it.
Raquel: Like, I'm a keynote and I wanna be a keynote and I wanna do this. And I just don't, I don't, once again, it's that kind of, yeah. I'm not that like, yeah, it's, uh, I know it's . Why
Jordan: talk to someone that
Raquel: struggle
Jordan: is real . Yeah. Cause I talked to someone recently that, that, that, that's their tag thing. It was a keynote speaker and their cover thing.
Jordan: Yeah. But it's in. It's like, that does sound interesting and I think I would enjoy talking to people, but I don't want to claim that I'm a keynote speaker. Cause I don't even know what that means. Like, I
Raquel: know, but who would want me to talk to? To them it was like, yeah, keynote. I don't, again, keynote speaker.
Raquel: That's a very broad thing. You could be a keynote speaker to 10 people, keynote speaker to a thousand people. But if you're the speaker, you could be, you could say you're a [01:30:00] keynote speaker, you know, just like with, you know, bestselling author, you could be , you know, like I've seen that one too. Yeah. Yeah.
Raquel: And then, you know, all the magazines, like you can pay to be on the top four, you know, four, whatever, all that stuff. So it's like at some point it's like, all right, it's . Right? But, um, so I don't know, I just, um, you know, I would love to do a Ted X talk. I would like bridging the generational gap and kind of doing that.
Raquel: Like that is something, you know, I guess on my bucket.
Jordan: I'm gonna, I'm gonna nominate you for a TEDx. So
Raquel: I don't know how that works. I don't either. I, I put it, it's funny, I have a friend that did a post about it and I had a couple of people reach out to me, and there's coaches out there. But that's another thing too, is like, you know, if you want someone to guide you, it's like thousands and thousands of dollars.
Raquel: And a lot of times it's like, I don't have the money to do that. I just need some kind of guidance and some kind of just, you know, advice. But I don't, I can't afford to sit here and, you know, hire someone to get me there. [01:31:00] Or TEDx stage. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. It's,
Jordan: well, we kind of talked about that last time where it's like we keep, we have these, uh, like I have this idea for a consultancy, but I don't wanna charge anybody for it.
Jordan: Yeah. But that, it just doesn't work. It's like you got, you do need money sometimes.
Raquel: Yeah. That's the thing is like, um, it's, it's the money part. And I think unfortunately that, yeah, that's what just stops a lot of people, you know. I know. I'll, I'll figure it out. Like I'm. Oh, I know you will. Yeah, like I, I'm confident enough in myself too to know that like, it might be a little bit kind of, you know, weird right now and scary and all this stuff, but I, I'm confident enough to all figure out a way, what
Jordan: is, is this is the scariness back to the fear of the success.
Jordan: Like, because you're at a point now where it's like those next steps are bigger.
Raquel: Yeah. I feel like I've been kind of at a crossroads for the last couple years. Like, I've, I've been right there and it's like, it's just, ugh, kind of just knocking, you know, [01:32:00] just like shattering that one last, you know, glass, like, I feel like I'm there.
Raquel: It's just that shattering that, you know, just like in Willy Wonka, just kind of that, you know, do,
Jordan: do you feel a pull to do it? Do I feel what? Do you feel pulled, like drawn to do that? To get through that glass? Yeah.
Raquel: See that's the thing is. I feel like there's, I have so much potential and so much to offer, and once again, like, I don't want it to sound like it's like this coming from like an egotistical place, but it's coming from a place of like, I feel like I've gone through what I've gone through and all these experience for a reason and that reason is to be able to help our youth.
Raquel: Like I really, truly believe that if I could help, you know, just one, you know, one kid or just something, right? And so I know that I, I have that capacity and that ability and that potential. I, I feel it in my heart of all hearts. I really do. Um, . It's just . Like I said, there's just something there. Yeah. But I just cannot [01:33:00] pinpoint as to, there's just something holding me back and I just really, maybe it is a success.
Raquel: I don't know. Well,
Jordan: it may just be the timing, right? Like sometimes it feels like we don't, like there may be a bigger plan, right? Yeah. Like maybe, maybe it, it'll break through when it's supposed to. And
Raquel: that's how I, like, sometimes I'll think about that too. I'm like, Raquel, maybe there's a reason why it's not happening right now, cuz there's something else there that you don't even know exists that's there, that is waiting for you.
Raquel: Mm-hmm. and you're just, you know, like, It, it's gonna happen. You just, you know, it takes time, you know, cuz yeah. Nothing happens overnight. So then sometimes I feel like, okay Rick, I'll just trust the process because there's something there that you can't even imagine. Right? Right. Because I couldn't even imagine, I'd be sitting here today telling you that I had rocked the boat, that I've done this, that I've done that, that I'm like envisioning like I Yeah, you, not even like two years ago.
Raquel: Right. I would've envisioned just me in this moment talking to you and the things that I'm saying and envisioning. So that's why I have [01:34:00] to just
Jordan: trust. No, I'm in the same way cuz I, you, I like, I was afraid, like, not af I don't know what it was. Probably afraid to reach out cuz you don't want to get rejected, like to ask people to have these conversations and it's like you, so I made a list of, you know, yourself included of like, just like, all right, there's 10 people.
Jordan: Let's say that, you know, you see and inspire you, let's reach out to 'em and see what happens. And it's like, by you responding, it's like, oh crap. Now I have to do it. A and what's this? Stop me from reaching out to more.
Raquel: Yeah. No, and I appreciate it. . Like super humble. No, it's super humbling when people like do wanna listen to what I have to say and, and I have to tell you like, this is like, I almost feel like, you know, we have been, this has been like the best therapy session for being a really long time.
Raquel: Like this is good. Like I think, I don't think you realize like how, what a gift it is for that other person too, right? Mm-hmm. like I think you're thinking like, oh you wanna talk to them cuz you wanna, you know, have your audience this and this and that. But I don't think you [01:35:00] realize like what you're doing for someone like myself Nope.
Raquel: As well. . Yeah. Like me wa like I am even having like light bulb moments in my head as I'm talking to you. Like, because we've been speaking for a good hour and a half and so we've really managed to like tap into a lot of different subjects and things that like, I just haven't really thought about in a really long time or just at all.
Raquel: And so this is a gift to me, like, so I just want you to know that. So I really appreciate it. Like this is doing a lot for me too. Wow.
Jordan: I I, that blows me away for you to say that. Um, no,
Raquel: you're giving me a safe, you, you're so like, your strength, just like I feel like I can do for others is giving them that safe space to like be themselves, like, you're doing that for me.
Raquel: Like, and it's not often that many people can do that. So the fact that you are doing that, like thank you because Yeah, when, when we're, when I'm used to doing that for others, to have someone to do that for me, it's kind of like, oh [01:36:00] shit, . Like, this is really cool. . Well,
Jordan: that's, I, I, and even to this day, I still, I feel like I don't know what my strengths are, so that's very helpful for you to say that.
Jordan: But if people have always told me, It's like I'm easy to talk to and I, I have always, well, I, it's cause I don't take myself serious and I like to find joy. I always felt like, but it, it is, I, now that people have said it, I'm like, I'll start to pay attention. And you do realize that even in like first interactions, um, people, I, I, I think it's cuz I enjoy and I actually want to get to know you.
Jordan: And now I feel like we're best friends. Yeah. And, um, I probably come off as too much. That's why the first interaction's good. Because after that I'm gonna be like, Raquel, since we're best friends now. No, no.
Raquel: It has to start somewhere. Right? Yeah. Like and you're a really good listener. You're a really good
Jordan: listener.
Jordan: I record that and show it to my wife.
Raquel: Yeah. No, b b but, because even the way you're listening, like people can listen, but it's like, you can tell they're listening and they can't wait to like say the next [01:37:00] thing and they can't wait to like cut you off and say something about themselves. Like, no, you're like, you, you sit in it
Jordan: Well, I wanna learn, I actually want to hear what you have. I think that's the difference. And I think it's cuz I'm actually, I, cuz I've listened to podcasts to try and get inspiration and I'm like, I don't like the way they're drawings. I feel like they're trying to talk about themselves. Yeah. And I'm like, but I, I actually want to hear your story.
Jordan: Like I actually care about what you have to say. Yeah. Which is weird, I think, which I didn't realize was weird. But it is weird that people care about other people's stories and thoughts and
Raquel: whatever. Yeah. And even people that like have me to hear their story, like I love it when that I host, you know, women that shred every week.
Raquel: Cuz I love that I get to share someone else's story and have it be all about them. And then I'm the one that gets to actively listen. Like for me, that's taught me a lot as well. And I absolutely love it. Like I'm enjoying it so much where it's literally all about them.
Jordan: And you're doing it live too. Yeah.
Jordan: I, I'd [01:38:00] be, I hope they get there someday. Like, that'd be cool to do a live stuff, but that seems scary.
Raquel: Um, you'd be surprised. You'd be surprised. Like, how, and not only that, like you have people interact. Oh. So it's like people are engaging in the comments too. Like that's super cool too, to have people in there like asking questions and so it's a lot.
Raquel: Um, but I, yeah, I, I'm loving it. Like I realize that I love being a guest and being a host. Yeah. I love to talk. Let's just
be
Jordan: honest. , uh, know me too. And that's where I, I like my goal with it. I hope to be able to like, you know, shed light to other people too, like shine that get the attention, but to be able to shine the light.
Jordan: Like, look, here's a very cool story from Raquel. Like, go and look at her things because that's an inspiration to me. And hopefully it helps you too. But the only way to do that is to right, try and gain those, those that following. It's
Raquel: unfortunate you started from the bottom. Now we're here[01:39:00]
Jordan: Now you got me dancing. .
Raquel: Yeah. But thank you. Seriously.
Jordan: No, thank you very much for the time, for the conversation.